DNA Shared Matches

[Helen7]

However the identity of her biological father remains a mystery which, as a family history researcher I will investigate through DNA / online trees for a connection in a discreet/subtle manner.

Yes, I agree that discretion/subtlety is the order of the day in such cases, and I would always be very careful what I say when contacting potential relatives who may be completely unaware of extra-marital relationships of their ancestors. Of course, if you are too discreet, neither party may be willing to engage for fear of upsetting the other. I take the approach of co-operation to uncover our ancestry together, as suggested by Peter.

I wonder if the relatives of canadianbeth's unknown grandfather (post #61) are aware of his indiscretions but don't want to say anything to her for fear of causing upset?

 

[Pauline]

Of course, if you are too discreet, neither party may be willing to engage for fear of upsetting the other.

It's the difficulty of determining if the other person wants to be made aware of potentially sensitive information while not letting on that there is some potentially sensitive information to be made aware of!

 

[peter]

It's the difficulty of determining if the other person wants to be made aware of potentially sensitive information while not letting on that there is some potentially sensitive information to be made aware of!

That's when you need to be really subtle. Of course, it's easier when you're face to face with someone and can see their expression.