Second wives

[CarolB08]

I have what is probably a very dumb question, but my Grandfather married twice, my family tree maker programme has his first wife as my Grandmother but his second wife is listed as wife of maternal Grandfather, now to me she was my Nanna and I would list her as a direct relative on my ancestors page, but if family tree maker is to be believed she should be down as relative by marriage. Which would be correct at lost cousins?
Also to add more confusion to this question, on the 1911 census my Grandfather and Nanna have his second wife staying with them she is listed as a visitor yet 24 years later she would be his wife. I would have loved to know how that one panned out.
Thank you .

 

[Tim]

Well I think FTM has it correct. The second wife is only related to you by marriage, you have none of her blood.
So your Grandfather and 1st wife would get the Ahnentafel numbers, and the as of yet unmarried 2nd wife to be would get Marriage.

 

[peter]

Which would be correct at lost cousins?

It's a question of which one was your genetic grandmother. My father married twice, and both my grandfathers married twice - all lost their wives before their time.

I'm descended from my father's first wife, and his father's first wife, but from the 2nd wife of my maternal grandfather. They're the ones who are shown as my direct ancestors - the other wives are only related to me by marriage.

 

[CarolB08]

There's the rub and this raises a whole new question to my Mother was adopted at age 10, the only reason I know this is from a copy of her baptism certificate that says her Parents were her adoptive Parents. Now to the best of my knowledge she never had a copy of her birth certificate, we never found one when she died and we cleared the house. So I do not know whether she was informally adopted or officially adopted.
My Brother is convinced that my Grandfathers second wife is really her Mother but we have no proof of this at all, so for now his first wife is recorded as my Grandmother.
This brings me to my next question and maybe this is the wrong place to be asking this but given that my Grandfather is her adopted Father should all my ancestors in all the censuses be recorded as adoptive relatives?

 

[Tim]

I guess this is that fine line between genetics dictating who your biological family is and the family that brought you up.

To me, the family that brought you up are your family. They are the ones the adopted person has interacted with their whole life.

I think, and Peter will correct me, that Lost Cousins will allow you to enter both set of parents (if known) as direct ancestors. However there maybe issues (possible not) if you were to give them both the same ahnentafel numbers.1

This situation must get even worse for children of same sex marriages!

 

[CarolB08]

Thank you for this helpful reply Tim, it confirms my own thoughts on the subject but I thought I would just ask to be sure

 

[peter]

This brings me to my next question and maybe this is the wrong place to be asking this but given that my Grandfather is her adopted Father should all my ancestors in all the censuses be recorded as adoptive relatives?

Please do not enter someone as a blood relative or a direct ancestor if in reality they're only related to you by adoption.

 

[CarolB08]

Peter, can I just clarify this for myself and others ? My Mother was adopted (not sure if formally or informally) by her "Father" my Grandfather Alfred George Tracey in 1927 at the moment he and all his ancestors are entered as direct or blood relatives on my lost cousins page, should I now go and change all of them to adoption? Including those linked to my family by marriage?

 

[peter]

Peter, can I just clarify this for myself and others ? My Mother was adopted (not sure if formally or informally) by her "Father" my Grandfather Alfred George Tracey in 1927 at the moment he and all his ancestors are entered as direct or blood relatives on my lost cousins page, should I now go and change all of them to adoption? Including those linked to my family by marriage?

If I were you I'd wait and see what you learn from your DNA test - a lot of adoptions involved family members. But if it turns out that there is no blood connection between Alfred George Tracey and your mother then you would have to change the entries on your My Ancestors page.

However there is another option - if you are in touch with a descendant of Alfred George Tracy or one of his full siblings you could copy your mother's adoptive relatives to a new account in their name (assuming you have their permission, of course).

 

[CarolB08]

Thank you Peter, I will do that. Family legend has it that my Grandfather refused to give her away at her wedding her Uncle, his brother did it instead.