The Horns of a Dilemma - after receiving an FMP Hint!

[Bob Spiers]

Years ago someone who married into my direct line after I promised to research her family line proclaimed: " you are going to have a problem on my mother's side as she was never told the name of her father, and her mother -(who lived to 98) would not even allow discussion on the matter right up until her death". I had to admit this would limit research on her maternal line, half hoping I would uncover his name. BUT THIS NEVER HAPPENED. That is until this very week probably after some 10 years or so without a name, an FMP Hint came to the rescue.

As a small digression I was becoming less and less enamoured in lodging my Ancestry Tree with FMP and was about to remove it. Their Hints merely regurgitated old information and repeating the same hints a day or two later, merely infuriated me. So imagine my surprise when embodied in a Hint received this week was the putative name of the (as yet) unknown father. It was a transcript of a Paternity Order Hearing heard in 1939.

Note I cannot reveal actual names, locations or pack drill about the person as both mother and daughter still live as do siblings and offspring. I shall therefore refer to individuals as

N - my tree person (Daughter)
X - the Mother of N and still living born 1939 (aka the Child)
Y - the Mother of X (Grandmother of N) who lived to 98 and died a few years ago (Seeking the paternity order)
Z - the putative father of X . A farm worker.

Here is the gist of the information contained in the Newspaper article of 1939.

It was headed "Blood Test is Neutral" and was the transcript of a paternity Hearing held in a Police Court in 1939 where Y requested a Paternity Order against Z as the father of child of X . The Hearing was adjourned to allow mutual blood tests, which were declared Neutral. (As DNA testing was not in vogue at the time a Blood Test could only prove against parentage, so a Neutral Result merely indicated Z could be the father)

Z denied paternity but admitted to intimacy with the girl on 6 occasions. Witnesses were called and Advocates heard for both sides, when the 3 Judges retired to consider their verdicts. Their conclusion was that Z was indeed the father of child X and was ordered to pay 7s 6d a week to Y until the child was aged 15, as well as pay maternity expenses and £3.3s advocate's fee.

To all intent and purpose I now have the name of the father and indeed the Grandfather of N. But apart from the obvious of passing on this information by word of mouth or indirectly in Tribal Pages - I am fettered in that there has been a big fall out between parties (including myself) and so, I am at a loss as to how to proceed, There is one family member quite dear to me has the ear of both camps and could act as a go between, even supposing he/she would want to; which I doubt?

I have decided to retain the 'Unknown' name in Tribal Pages but post the 'Hearing' detail and suggest Z may well be the missing father figure. I do know Z later married and of at least one (male)child who would be a 'step' brother to X. But for now will not proceed further even though in a roundabout fashion I have knocked down the ubiquitous brick wall which normally would be shouted from the rooftops - but discretion forbids I do this. What do others advise?

 

[Helen7]

To all intent and purpose I now have the name of the father and indeed the Grandfather of N. But apart from the obvious of passing on this information by word of mouth or indirectly in Tribal Pages - I am fettered in that there has been a big fall out between parties (including myself) and so, I am at a loss as to how to proceed, There is one family member quite dear to me has the ear of both camps and could act as a go between, even supposing he/she would want to; which I doubt?

What a pity you don't feel able to contact N with your interesting discovery. Not knowing the circumstances of the falling out makes it difficult to advise, but it seems to me that this news may be worth holding out an olive branch? As you say, you could use the other relative as a go-between, but they may well not want to be involved. Again, only you can judge this. Are N or X likely to look at your Tribal Pages information?

I try to avoid falling out with friends and relatives, as I feel life is too short. My mother never knew any of her mother's family due to a feud between her father and his late wife's parents (my maternal grandmother having died shortly after giving birth to my mother). I know she would have loved to have met her grandparents, uncle and cousins but never had the opportunity (even though they all lived quite locally). If X had half-siblings, maybe she (and her daughter) would like to know?

 

[Bob Spiers]

Are N or X likely to look at your Tribal Pages information?

Probably not as it happens, but they could be made aware by a family member whose motivations may not be entirely altruistic.

The fall out Helen is not a million miles from the feud you relate and one on which I once passed an opinion. This caused me NOT being invited to a wedding. My daughter stepped in and raised all hell with her brother (my son, whose side of the family was involved) who did a Pontius Pilot act of 'washing his hands'! Brother and sister remain estranged and my wife and I are sort of 'piggy in the middle! This all began 7 years ago and shows little sign of relaxing.

I propose to let things be for now, but will likely raise the matter with the family member mentioned, if only because I know his wife is a keen family historian, and regularly views my Tribal Pages and we communicate often. If anyone can find a way around things, it will be her. She with her husband are on speaking terms with both N & X.

Footnote: I do wonder if X actually did learn of her mother's paternity order because after all she would have been 15 when the payments to her mother ceased; time enough to be curious and ask questions, even if then going along with her mother's deception. An intriguing thought and one I might pass on.