I owed it to my Grandma

[Liberty]

My grandmother had a real interest in her family history. She had all sorts of anecdotes and reminiscences. She even gave me (a teenager and not all that interested) a sheet of notes of names etc. going back centuries. I felt, semi-guiltily, that I 'ought' to do something with this information but didn't really know what. However, by the early 2000s I discovered that quite lot of information had become available on the internet, and was able to build up a tree from what she had told me. She doesn't seem to have been always spot on, but close enough to point me in the right direction. Then the 'expertise' I build up from working out that part of the tree helped me with others, and I have rarely looked back.

 

[Fern49]

Good on your grandmother. Looking to the future perhaps.
Since building my 'tree', so many times I wished that I had been interested when my grandparents were alive.

 

[Gillian]

I agree, only have to say I wish I'd been interested when my parents were alive!! I never had the pleasure of meeting my grandparents; three had died before I was born and one when I was a small girl.

 

[Marguerite]

I agree too and like Gillian, three grandparents had died before I was born and my mother's father died when I was eight. My mother died before I became interested in genealogy and my father just said his folks came from Lymm and Marthall in Cheshire. I'm still looking for his grandfather!!! Why did I never question him about his grandmother's name?

 

[Gillian]

Why, indeed, Marguerite. So many why's, aren't there? I so envy one of my Doherty third cousins once removed who discovered his interest in genealogy when only about 12 years old. Not only were people still alive but he had the interest to ask them questions and, being Irish, they were delighted to answer! Imagine what a treasure trove the outcome of his interest has been for our branch of the Doherty family.

 

[Liberty]

I recognise I was very lucky with my grandmother, who lived until I was in my early 20s. I particularly appreciate her wisdom in writing so much down, in view of my lack of interest at the time! My grandfather on the other side died a few years before her, so I also remember him well. He was not so much interested in family history in the sense of generations back, although my uncle recalls him showing him HIS grandfather's (my 2G GF's) name in metal plates that he had cast at the North Walsham & Dilham Canal. Grandad was apt to talk about his own immediate family, and I remember odd snippets of anecdotes about life in the past. Such as - at the village school he attended the children would bring bread and dripping for lunch, but sometimes one would say, 'We didn't have no dripping so I've got bread and lard.'

 

[Gillian]

It's so easy to feel bad about not having asked questions when there was the opportunity, but it's also possible to feel bad about not having been sufficiently receptive. My husband says that his grandfather loved talking about his childhood and the past in general, but that as soon as he started reminiscing, the kids would groan inwardly as the old man started off once again. Too much was too much at that time. Now my husband of course regrets not having listened more attentively.

 

[Margery]

grandfather loved talking about his childhood and the past in general

My husband's grandfather was a great raconteur and my husband's aunt (his youngest child) has related some his family stories to us. Well, he handled the truth somewhat carelessly, to put it politely. Whether he genuinly believed some of his tales or whether he wanted to show the family in a better light, one doesn't know. However, with the research resources currently available we have been able to dismiss some of his more outrageous tales. So, a word of warning -* there may not be a family fortune just waiting to be claimed or your great grandmother may not be the first white child born in ***** or, more gruesomly, Uncle Jacob's grave was not opened up so that Granny's amputated leg could be buried with him! The tiny pieces of fact woven into his stories have given us some basis to work on, though. I might add that there are still family members who believe his tales.
*These are just some of the stories - there are many more.

 

[GrahamC]

I might add that there are still family members who believe his tales.

But Aunty Maud said such and such so it MUST be true.

 

[Fern49]

By the time people add their little bit over the years, these stories can get so out of kilter to their reality.

 

[Alexander Bisset]

And what about your current grandchildren who show little interest despite your best efforts. Isn't it likely that at least some of them will be in your shoes after you are gone? As was asked in another thread shouldn't we be thinking about how we can preserve our research so it doesn't get thrown out as "they were just old papers of your grannies/grandad", only to have the grandchild years later discover posts on forums and bemoan the fact that the papers were thrown out when you died?

Not suggesting anyone here is on their last legs of course and not wanting to be morbid but it does give food for thought! Ideas might even make for an interesting newsletter article. Or perhaps Peter could solicit ideas as to how some people tackle the issue via the newsletter?

 

[AnneC]

As was asked in another thread shouldn't we be thinking about how we can preserve our research so it doesn't get thrown out as "they were just old papers of your grannies/grandad", only to have the grandchild years later discover posts on forums and bemoan the fact that the papers were thrown out when you died?

My husband's cousin was a great researcher and was the reason I initially gained interest in Family History. He had spent years collecting information from Parish Registers and BMD certificates, corresponding with family members throughout the world, and collating a One Name Study of our surname. He died after a short illness a while ago, and although I have tried to make contact with his wife and a fellow researcher have been unable to find out what has happened to his documents. Luckily I have several hard copies of the part of the family directly related to us, and there are many online trees that had been uploaded so some of the work is still available (though not downloadable). I regularly look at the guest book on the remaining web sites, and explain the situation and that I can be contacted to carry on the study. I so wish that we'd thought about contingency plans before any of us popped our clogs!

 

[emjay]

Some of us have a willingness/desire to share, some jealousy guard family information.
If they are not 'genealogists' they may fail to understand the significance of the deceased person's hard work.

 

[Willibrod]

My father become interested in the family history through his aunt because of the story she told him before she died .
She had collection of birth marriage & certificates which started his interests.
It such a shame I did not talk/discuss it more with my father before he died. Some information and secrets are lost forever.

 

[Heather]

It such a shame I did not talk/discuss it more with my father before he died. Some information and secrets are lost forever.

I'm sure most people reading this will echo your thoughts Willibrod "If only........."

 

[Prairie Girl]

Good on your grandmother. Looking to the future perhaps.
Since building my 'tree', so many times I wished that I had been interested when my grandparents were alive.

I was interested when my grandparents were alive, but the only one who was willing to talk was my mother's mother. Her mother died when she was a little girl, taking most of the "old-country" family history with her, but she did have a few bits to start out with. For the most part, though, I think most people would agree with you: "If only...."

 

[Pauline8]

This is why I started researching my family history. My own surname had been well researched already and there is a one-name study. I wanted to find my paternal grandmother's grandmother who had worked a sampler in 1835 which is still in the family. I didn't know where she fitted in my family tree. I was 16 when my grandmother died and I never asked her about her grandmother. It is so long ago that I started my search that there were very few resources on the internet and I searched through the census pages on micro-film and looked through the huge ledgers listing the births, marriages and deaths at the Family Record Centre in Islington. It was an amazing journey that I then extended out to all my grandparents and beyond.

 

[GillyGC]

I agree with so many on this thread about not having asked enough questions! And, for basically not being terribly interested in much of it. What I did do as a child was listen to my mother, her mother and my great aunt talking about the family and folk that they knew. I remember thinking, at one time, that George Formby was one of the family! They used to talk about him as if he was a family member and spoke about how his wife was horrible to him... that was about 50+ years ago now and everyone has died. I remember my grandmother taught me a song that she'd learned at school... I taught the song to my children but have always forgotten to ask if they taught it to their own children...and now I have a great granddaughter... so I must teach it to her, too.

But I was also thinking that folk have wondered about documents having been tossed out... but I'm also thinking that there are letters and documents that WE have that should be put away with our research papers. I've got a postcard sent by my father to his parents from a Luft Stalag when he was a POW, a letter written by my grandmother's friend, who mentions my 'fat faced' mother (when she was a little girl with a round face) regarding a visit from a Salvation Army friend and an old insurance policy taken out by my grandmother on my mother when she was a little girl (in the 1920s)... it's enormous and incredibly ornate.

However, and this is very precious because it's so detailed... my father wrote his memoirs for the family. He split them up into his early life, his war years and his post-war years when he was in the police. Sadly, he never managed to finish the final section. However, the section on the war I've had published and the earlier section, mainly about his time in Carlisle (although there is some about when they moved back to Maidstone where he was born) I've sent to his old school in Carlisle as a piece of history of life back then. The section on the police I've sent to Manchester Police Museum to put into their archives... again to pad out their historical information. So... not only do we have these things... but others are able to read them should they wish to do so.

Finally... we must remember that we, too, are going to be important to our descendants. We should be writing about ourselves, too...no matter how boring we may feel that to be. We have so many photos nowadays of ourselves... but it's the stories behind the photos, behind the house moves, behind the holidays, behind the events of our day to day lives that will surely enthrall them! We who are so corporeal now, so sure of our allotted span on this earth... will one day be just a memory and later on... not even that if we don't say who we are.... and call to them down the years.