Ancestry kit

[sunflower]

I have just ordered a dna kit from Ancestry during their specially priced offer. I do not want to use it yet as I need to be with the person I want to test to make sure it is done correctly. Do I need to do anything or can I leave it until I want to do the test which won't be for a few weeks at least. It says to make sure you activate the test when you receive it but I am not sure it is necessary until I am ready.
Thanks.

 

[Stuart]

The information on this is not at all clear, and hard to find. For a start, "activate" and "register" refer to the same process, which is not spelled out. As is often the case, Google is the best way for finding their advice, and came up with this:

Can I activate someone else's AncestryDNA?

Adults who take an AncestryDNA® test must register their own kits on their own accounts, but they can share their results with you or invite you to manage their test once it's registered.

Registration/activation is the only way Ancestry knows who is the owner of the DNA information, so for legal reasons this has to be the owner of the account where this is done. I imagine they ask you to do it before mailing the kit to them because there are always a few cases where someone throws away all the packaging, so once the kit is sent off there is no record of the registration code that was on the kit!

 

[Sue_3]

You don't need to do anything until the kit is to be used. I understand that can be years away, never mind weeks. I've got one that's been in my drawer for a long time because the person I offered it to ended up buying their own. I also believe that if a kit doesn't work for any reason - i.e. Ancestry receive it but cannot process the sample - then they will send a replacement kit (I hope that's right as I'm planning to use that old kit before too long, to test another family member).

 

[sunflower]

Thanks Stuart and Sue for your replies.

Stuart, I have a vague recollection of having to open up a new e-mail account in order to activate my brother's dna results as he did not use a computer at the time. I know the person I intend the new test for does not have a computer so it will probably mean I have to open another one for her.

Sue, that is my gut feeling on the question too, so I will open up a new e-mail address before I return to the UK and then it will ready to use to activate the test with Ancestry.
You are right about the replacement kit as it happened to my cousin and they sent her a new one which worked and opened up a whole load of questions, now answered 'unfortunately'.

 

[Sue_3]

they sent her a new one which worked and opened up a whole load of questions, now answered 'unfortunately'.

DNA testing often reveals unexpected information, which can also be unwelcome. Having said that, the same can be true of traditional paper-based research.

 

[sunflower]

That's very true Sue. Having had a few years to adjust to this situation, I am coming to terms with it but it has been hard to let go of the memories and thoughts I have conjured up about my nurturing father's family. My genetic family is very pleasant and I do have a good relationship with them but they are the ones that have gained family whileI am the one who has lost a long held belief of who I am. It has also meant that I have had to start again with a new family line especially as the vast majority of my dna matches are with the genetic side.

 

[Sue_3]

My own genetic revelations were mostly discovered via documents many years ago but uncertainty remained until DNA confirmed. I discovered relatives that were unexpected, in more than one generation. After much emotional turmoil I came to the conclusion that I still had the family I had always had. Biology doesn’t alter history, it just adds to it. It doesn’t change memories or experiences. My family has just grown larger. Many people have more than two parents, because for a variety of reasons children are often raised by people other than their biological parents. Many parents have more than one family, because for a variety of reasons they don’t spend their entire lives with just one partner. We cannot bring back the dead to get a broader understanding of what happened or why, but we can look around us and see similar situations and accept that lives and relationships are often complicated and difficult?

 

[sunflower]

A very balanced view Sue and I do agree with what you have written.

My previously thought 1st cousin and I are even closer since we found out we were not blood related, so no loss of friendship or familial connection. What I was more angry about, although that has subsided a lot, is the betrayal of my mother when she always seemed to be so 'holier than thou' on many subjects. I also felt very sorry for my genetic father's wife as she had no idea I am sure and she was a lovely woman. On the plus side, I have a very nice relationship, which has been very inclusive, with my genetic half niece. Oddly enough, it was my own half brother and sister that were the most upset with our mother.

I suppose the moral of my experience is, when taking a dna test, be prepared to be shocked as well as pleasantly surprised.

 

[peter]

I suppose the moral of my experience is, when taking a dna test, be prepared to be shocked as well as pleasantly surprised.

It's not exclusive to DNA testing - simply researching one's family tree inevitably uncovers all sorts of things that earlier generations contrived to hide.

But whatever we discover, we would be wise not to pass judgment on our ancestors, because we can't possibly know the circumstances. For example, some mothers of illegitimate children were rape victims.

 

[Sue_3]

What I was more angry about, although that has subsided a lot, is the betrayal of my mother when she always seemed to be so 'holier than thou' on many subjects.

Perhaps your mother felt guilty - whether or not she was actually at fault - and was trying to encourage her children to avoid making similar mistakes?

 

[sunflower]

Nice to see you back in the seeing world again Peter. I hope it all went well.

With regard to my own particular case, if I had been the only one, then I would have accepted it, a wartime fling or something like that but I have other siblings with the same genetic parents, so draw your own conclusions.

I do not pass judgement on others as I do not know their circumstances and as you say, some are not willing participants. I think with my discovery, that was not the case. Not just neighbourly friendship it seems.

 

[sunflower]

Perhaps your mother felt guilty - whether or not she was actually at fault - and was trying to encourage her children to avoid making similar mistakes?

See my reply to Peter, it will explain our disappointment and anger at first, (now subsided)